We all know the famous Norman Rockwell painting of a typical American family gathered around Grandma as she serves up a huge turkey. If Rockwell were painting today, his portrait of a Thanksgiving feast would have to include gay Uncle Kevin and perhaps a niece who’s brought her girlfriend home from college. (He might also sketch in the new Chinese daughter-in-law, but that’s another story.)
The American family is changing rapidly, and so are attitudes about same-sex marriage. In the last election, three states voted to approve the institution (Maryland, Maine and Washington), and one, Minnesota, rejected a move to ban it. The focus on Barack Obama’s re-election, and the attention paid to the critical Latino vote, obscured this historic milestone.
For the first time, after more than 30 failed tries, gay marriage was approved by statewide vote. (Until now, it took court decisions or legislative action to enact the laws.) That means same-sex unions are now legal in nine states and the District of Columbia, and advocates are planning a half-dozen more campaigns in the next few years.
In the latest ABC News/Washington Post poll, 51 percent supported marriage equality, up sharply from 32 percent just eight years ago. And the trend line is clear. Among young adults, more than six in 10 favor the right of same-sex couples to wed legally.
“The pace of the change in opinions has picked up over the last few years,” pollster Michael Dimock of the Pew Research Center told The New York Times, “and as the younger generation becomes a larger share of the electorate, the writing is on the wall.”
The main motive behind this shift is not ideology but experience. More and more Americans have gay friends and neighbors, classmates and colleagues. And more are sharing their holiday tables with gay relatives. Now add the U.S. Senate, where Democrat Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin will become the first openly gay member in January. A new congressman from upstate New York, Sean Patrick Maloney, has three children with his male partner of more than 20 years.
Like many Americans, we see this change in our own lives. We gave a party last summer for our old friend Rep. Barney Frank, who deliberately married his partner, Jim Ready, before he retires from Congress next month. Barney wanted to make sure his fellow lawmakers knew a gay married couple.
