The following is a true story ...

So there I was, strolling into the local grocery store to pick up a few things, cash my paycheck and catch up on a bill or two. Just your typical Friday afternoon, the sun shining and not a care in the world (except for dishing out hefty amounts of cash paying said bills, of course). I believe it was late spring, possibly April or May, and I was completely unprepared for the conversation I was about to overhear.

Life, as they say, is full of surprises.

After a quick perusal of Chenango County’s Hometown Daily – a brief scan of the front page – I made my way to the service desk, noting the strange man standing at the counter; animated, talking with his hands and with an impressively filthy duffel bag lying at his feet. On the counter, a stack of papers, slightly crumpled and also none too clean. The first portion of this obviously heated conversation I heard?

“I’ll swear to you right now on a stack of bibles that this is all true. I did the research myself.”

Now granted, it’s no secret that we have a small (yet mostly entertaining) population of crazies roaming the streets of downtown Norwich, and for one born and raised here – like me – well, you kind of get used to it. I had never seen this gentleman before, however, and I was intrigued. What could be so important that this man was willing to put his very soul on the line to prove his point?

The look (and roll of the eyes) the cashier gave me should have been warning enough, I suppose, but my curiosity was piqued, I simply had to know. A nonchalant glance over the man’s shoulder was all it took. The topmost document, obviously a computer printout of some sort, sported a larger than life declaration, all caps, in big, bold lettering ... PRESIDENT OBAMA’S BIRTH CERTIFICATE A HOAX.

If that were all, I probably would’ve shaken my head in disbelief and forgotten all about this little incident, yet underneath that (ridiculous) momentous claim, a list of other “conspiracies,” including Neil Armstrong’s “staged” lunar landing, 9/11, Pearl Harbor, the New World Order and – of course – December 21, 2012, a.k.a. The End of the World, among others.