People naturally worry about their memory as they get older. “Oh, I can’t remember where I put my reading glasses. It must be the beginning of the end.” Really? Follow a teenager around someday and watch how much they forget.

“My math final is today, and I forgot to study for it!”

“I kissed Billy. I forgot I was dating Bobby!”

“I forgot I wasn’t supposed to take Dad’s car without permission.”

“No, I don’t remember you ever saying that I couldn’t get a tattoo until I was 40.”

In healthy people, much of what is remembered is a choice. We remember the things that are important to us, while unconsciously deciding that other things are not worth it. That’s why forgetting birthdays and anniversaries is considered so unforgivable. The injured party senses that the special date wasn’t important enough to be remembered.

“I don’t remember the doctor saying I shouldn’t eat so much salt and should cut down on calories.” Why would you bother to remember something like that?

“I don’t remember you telling me your mother was coming to visit. For three weeks.”

“I shot a par. My partner says I got a six. He must have a lousy memory.”

These kinds of things can be explained as lapses, lies, denials or delusions. However, there is one kind of memory distortion that is not so easy to explain. Just last week, I was telling one of my many riveting and entertaining stories to some friends at dinner. I picked something I knew they had never heard before, because I don’t want to become known as one of those boring old men who tell the same stories over and over again. Even the best story can stand only so many tellings.

So I was telling one of my many riveting and entertaining stories to some friends at dinner. I picked something I knew they had never heard before, because I never want to become known as one of those boring old men who tell the same stories over and over again. At the end, Bob woke up and said, “How long ago did that happen?”

I said, “Oh, eight or 10 years ago.”

Sue said, “It was 25 years ago.” It seems she had heard the story before (and, of course, she was in it).