A penthouse in Manhattan just sold for $90 million, which broke the record set last year when the 22-year-old daughter of a Russian billionaire spent $88 million on a Park Avenue pad that she plans to use during the few weeks a year when she’s in town. (It’s still hard for me to say “Russian billionaire” after years of thinking of Russia as a place full of empty, government-run stores where toilet paper — if there was any — was a luxury item.)
In other big real estate news, someone bought a parking spot in the garage of a Manhattan building for a million dollars. They’re kidding, right? Who’s going to believe that someone who can blow a million dollars on a parking spot has only one car? Even I have two cars, and I’m only, oh, a million dollars shy of having a million dollars. One of my cars is 9 years old; the other is 7.
But I’m not jealous. This guy is obviously one of those people the news media now call “job creators.” If only we would lower his taxes, this guy could afford to buy two million-dollar parking spots and buy another car. That’s how you create jobs. When you and I buy a car, jobs are not created because we’re not rich. But when a rich person buys a car, tons of jobs are created. That’s why we all have to chip in and lower taxes for the wealthy. Why is that so hard to understand?
What kind of car would someone park in a million-dollar parking space? A Ford? A Chevy? No, it’s probably one of those expensive European cars. Maybe a Porsche or a BMW. No, even that won’t cut it. If you’re spending a million dollars on a parking spot, you’re probably driving one of those million-dollar cars like a Maybach or a Ferrari or a Lamborghini. Which would create a lot of manufacturing jobs — in Europe.
Of course, a lot of people think you’d be crazy to own a car in a place like Manhattan. You can walk faster than you can drive there. You need a car in Manhattan like you need a rowboat in the Sahara.
Then again, a lot of people think you’re crazy if you walk in Manhattan. It’s a lose-lose situation. Think of the wear and tear on the vehicle. How many times do you have to hear, “Yo, buddy, it hurt my hand when I opened the cab door and dinged your Masarati. I’d sue you, but I’m in a hurry!” before you stop taking the car out of the garage at all?
