Tyler Warned Me There Would Be Days Like These

By: Melissa Stagnaro

Tyler warned me there would be days like these

In the final days before Tyler Murphy’s departure from The Evening Sun in May, he took me aside on more than one occasion to impart tidbits of wisdom and advice about the beat that I would be taking over. And, since I respected the fact that he had covered all things to do with police/fire/court for so long, I listened.

Often it was a litany of things to remember about court procedures and protocols, or who to call for what information. He also regaled me with more than a few tales of the things he’d seen, done and been privy to during his tenure on what is arguably our hometown daily’s most coveted beat. But in the last hour or so of his last official day on the job, he pulled me aside for a rather serious heart to heart.

Having worked side by side for almost three years, it’s safe to say that Tyler was well acquainted with the vagaries of my personality. He told me that he had no doubts the police/fire/court coverage would be in good hands. But he was concerned for me personally, about how emotionally I would handle the uglier side of the job.

I have always considered my emotions to be both my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. I try I put my whole heart in everything I do, particularly my writing. And I always feel I’ve succeeded when I’m able to connect on an emotional level, through my words, with our readers. It is only then that I feel like I am truly telling the story of those I’m writing about.

Which is why, while I’m not the only one to have ever cried on deadline, I definitely hold the record for tears shed in the newsroom.

As Tyler so accurately predicted, my tender-hearted tendencies have posed a challenge. Not an insurmountable one, thankfully. But a challenge nonetheless. The harm human beings are capable of doing to one another is truly shocking. There are quite frankly things that I’d just rather not know, particularly about the sexual-related crimes which I’ve found are far, far more prevalent that I ever realized.

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Equally difficult for me is my newfound understanding of the fragility of the human body, and just how tenuous our hold to this mortal plane. A point which was, tragically, driven home to me yesterday after I spent nearly two hours on the periphery of that horrible accident which took the life of a 21-year old man.

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