Four hours into Monday night’s school board meeting, I realized how unprepared I had been for what was turning out to be one of the longest meetings in the history of man.

Or, at least one of the longest I’ve had the dubious privilege to attend.

I was tired, hungry and, having already downed the last of my water ration, more than a little thirsty. Boredom had long since set in, and my derriere was, frankly, numb from sitting for so long.

Little did I know at that point that I’d still have another hour and a half to go before the meeting would finally be adjourned. More than adequate time to lament my inadequate planning, and vow to never let it happen again.

As I sat, waiting out the second executive session of the evening – which lasted a whopping four hours, and came on the heels of a one-hour closed door session at the start of the meeting – I began to sketch out a list of must-have’s for future board meetings.

I call it my School Board Meeting Survival Guide.

And rather than keep this precious and timely information to myself, I’ve decided to share it for the good of all mankind.

To start, I’ve drawn up a list of necessities no meeting-goer should be without for your average, run-of-the-mill school board gathering.

You’ll want an agenda, of course, to make it easy to follow along. Since there aren’t always a sufficient number available on the day, it’s a good idea to check the school’s website prior to the meeting. Most post the agenda a day or so in advance, so you can have a look and print one out if you so desire. Plus, it will give you something to doodle on if you get bored.

I do recommend you bring your own pen and paper for this purpose, however. After all, you never know when you’re going to have a sudden urge to build a fleet of paper airplanes, or pass notes like you did in sixth grade study hall.

Or, you could always use them to actually take notes at the meeting. Although, lets be honest, what’s the fun in that?

Make sure you’ve got your cell phone handy, too. You may need it to text your friends begging for rescue, snap a photo of someone snoozing in the audience, or call to order a pizza if you get snacky.

But be sure to put the phone on vibrate before the meeting is called to order. Trust me on this, you definitely don’t want to be known as the one with the “Shoot you in the $#% with a B.B. gun” ringtone. Just ask the guy who installed our newsroom copy machine earlier this week. Talk about uncomfortable moments in the workplace!

Since not all of our local pizza parlors deliver, it’s best to make sure you come prepared with something to munch on, as more often than not, the meeting will conflict with your regular meal time. Chocolate is, of course, my first choice. Not only is it yummy, but it also contains enough caffeine to see me through to the bitter end.

For the more health conscious, fruit is a good choice, as are mixed nuts and granola bars. Just make sure you don’t bring anything too messy. Or too crunchy for that matter, both for your sake as well as those around you.

Bring water, too. And, no, not just because vodka isn’t allowed on school grounds. You’ll want to stay hydrated to ward off unwarranted headaches.

For headaches caused by the meeting itself, bring your pain-reliever of choice.