A recent study has found that the worst place to get any work done is at your office. It’s why so many people take their work home with them on the weekends. There was one study – wait a sec, “What is it, Judy? Ten dollars for Todd’s birthday. Sure, here. Who is Todd? Right, right, Todd from the mailroom. Great. Yeah bring the card in when it’s going around and I’ll sign it.” Where was I? Oh yeah, the study said that up to ... Whoops, let me catch that.

“Hello? A half-hour PowerPoint presentation on our company’s wellness program at 1:30? Mandatory. Yes I can be there, if I skip the gym.” Where was I? Oh, yes, there was one study that, “Hello? No, never too busy for you, Boss. Yes, I did see the YouTube thing of the cat who stands on his hind legs. Very cute. Thanks for e-mailing that to me. Really? Everyone in the whole company? Wow. That’s why you’re a VP. Bye.”

The study said there were so many distractions at work that it was almost impossible to ... What?

“We’re collecting money for Suzy’s baby.”

“What’s the matter with Suzy’s baby?”

“Nothing. She’s having a baby.”

“So I’m giving the baby money?”

“No, it’s for a gift for the baby shower. None of us has time to shop, so we all chip in and buy her a gift. It’ll be from everyone on the third floor, Section 12.”

“How much?”

“Twenty. Todd will bring around the card later so you can sign it.”

I tell you what, I’ll just print out that study and you can read it at home later. The printer’s down? Again? I’ll e-mail it to you. The server’s down. IT is on the way. I’ll snail mail it to you. Next week. It looks like I’m going to be working late again. “Oh, hi, Todd, have you got that card for me?”

“What card? I’m collecting for Bill. He’s leaving. He’s going to start working from home. We’re getting him a ‘going away’ cake.”

“But he’s not going away. He’s going home.”