I try to do most of my shopping close to home, preferably within the bounds of Chenango County. I figure money spent locally is money well spent, since it helps support local businesses and local jobs.
But sometimes it’s necessary to venture outside. Like when you are in search of the perfect pair of shoes to wear for a special occasion. Such as, say, the SPCA’s 6th Annual Valentine Fur Ball this weekend.
It was such a desire for fabulous footwear (to wear to that equally fabulous event) which prompted me to brave the wilds of the Carousel Center in Syracuse this past weekend. Not sure if I was up to the challenge on my own (or if I could even find the place, since it had been so long since I’d been there) I brought reinforcements – my mom and her friend Sue.
We had spent an hour or so wandering in and out of shops, when I started having a touch of deja vu. It took me a couple of more stores before I could put my finger on it. But then, as I flipped casually through a rack of what I at first thought to be normal trousers, it hit me.
The garments before me weren’t normal pants. Having lived through the 80s, I was able to identify then for what they really were: stirrup pants. Yes, stirrup pants. The scourge of my generation.
I guess you could say that strip of black elastic, designed to keep leggings anchored to your feet (as if Lycra didn’t do a good enough job keeping them in place), helped snap it all into perspective. Because as I stood staring in disgust and disbelief at the offensive garments, I knew I could no longer deny that my worst nightmare had become a reality.
The 80s are back.
I know, I know. It made me want to run screaming, too. It is, after all, the end of civilization as we know it. But it’s important to stay calm.
As my old yoga instructor might advise: Deep breaths, Melissa. Deep, cleansing breaths.
When I could think more clearly, I realized that this shouldn’t have come as such a shock to me. I mean, the signs were all around me. What with skinny jeans and leggings making a comeback, not to mention all that talk about a Footloose remake. But until now, I’ve been able to convince myself that those were just flukes. Because, really, who in their right minds would want to revisit that sordid little period in fashion history?
Fashion designers, that’s who. (Although the jury is still out on the “right minds” thing.)
The idea of the fashion nightmares which plagued me in the 80s returning is enough to make me out in hives. Because you know the leggings, the skinny denim and the - gag me now - stirrup pants are just the tip of the fashion catastrophe iceberg.
