Dear Maggie,

I’m am a 25 year old mother of two boys. My boyfriend and I live together. He’s the father of my kids and I love him. But he drinks way too much and he’s just never around when I need him. He’s so great when he’s here, but he’s often gone for days at a time. Anything could happen and I wouldn’t even know how to get hold of him. I think it’s not him, it’s the beer. He just drinks all the time. Starts in the morning and doesn’t stop until he’s asleep at night. Sometimes he doesn’t stop for days, and then only when he passes out.

My family think I should leave him. But I love him, and I just don’t know what to do. Please help.

Signed,

Desperate

Dear Desperate,

Your partner is an alcoholic. He won’t change until he has to. The most loving thing you can do for him is give him a reason to get sober and stay that way. And for most drunks, that only happens when they lose the things they cherish most. So leaving him, taking the kids, might be the wake up call he needs to get straight.