Dear Maggie,

I just don’t understand my boyfriend. We’ve been together for a year, and he says he loves me, but he doesn’t seem to. Like, the other night, I had tons of things to do, and I was telling him how overwhelmed I was, and how little time I had. And I thought he’d offer to stay later and help me. But he didn’t. He just went home. Another time, I showed up in a brand new dress, and he didn’t even notice. Or if he did, he didn’t say so. He never says he loves me unless I say it first. Well, once in awhile. But not often. If I tell him I’m sick, he “takes the night off.” From me, I mean. He even calls it that! Like I’m a job he has to do or something. If he were sick I would go over and take care of him. Make him chicken soup or give him a back rub or something. But when I’m sick, I get ignored. It’s not fair! I just don’t get it. How can he say he loves me when he acts like he doesn’t even care all that much?

Signed,

Mixed up & Miserable

Dear M&M,

To quote Mr. Monk, “Here’s the thing …”

Males are different. Might as well be a different species. They have a steep learning curve when it comes to what women want, and they honestly do not see things the same way that we do. For example, when he’s sick, having you hovering over him with chicken soup is probably the last thing he wants. He doesn’t want his girlfriend to see him laid up, weak and needy. He wants to be left alone until he feels better. You assume that what you want when you are sick (to be taken care of) is the same thing he would want when he is sick. But it’s not. So isn’t it a safe bet that he does the same? He assumes anyone in their right mind would not want company while they’re sick. How can he know that you want the opposite?