Nantucket is a small island off the southern shore of Cape Cod. It’s where the Pequod, Captain Ahab’s ship, set out to go whaling. Now it’s a vacation spot, where the population balloons in the summer and shrinks back to village-size every winter. In the grand scheme of no shirt, no shoes, no problem beach vacations, the Nantucket high-season crowd is still tiny compared to the Jersey Shore, the Hamptons or the Outer Banks.
But there is something magical about the island: If you put the word “Nantucket” on a product, people will buy it. In outlet malls across the country, you will find the word “Nantucket” on wicker baskets made in Pakistan, candles made in Mexico, knickknacks, T-shirts, boats, shoes, shovels, soft drinks, potting soil, novels, breakfast cereal, pork sausage, picture frames, cough drops, jeans, flip-flops, motor oil, bagels, boats, belt sanders, beer, flatware, latex paint and a few thousand other things. It seems that as long as an item has the word “Nantucket” on it somewhere, it is sure to fly off the shelf.
I am writing this column in Nantucket. Actually, I’ve never been there. But I’m hoping that just by writing the word, some of its magical selling power will rub off on me and make me wealthy beyond my wildest dreams. And believe me, I have some pretty wild dreams, many of them involving Formula One racing cars, eight-patty cheeseburgers, spectacular blondes and champagne-filled Jacuzzis.
You’d think Nantucket was the Native American word for “buy this and you’ll feel better.” Or as an old boss of mine used to call it, “retail therapy.” What’s truly odd is that the island next door to Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard, does not have the same cachet, even though it’s the summer home of an uncountable number of celebrities and billionaires. Maybe if it were called Martha Stewart’s Vineyard they’d have better luck.
They may not deserve it, but certain place names have a mystical, emotional power. “Miami Vice” was a huge hit. What if it had been called “Plano Vice”? Would you believe two high-fashion, slang-savvy cops working the mean streets of Plano? Plano may have lots of fashionable flatfoots, but would the rest of the world believe it?
You just knew a Motown record was going to have a lot more grit, a lot more soul, than a single from, say, Sioux Falls.
Buffalo chicken wings: would chicken wings taste the same if they were called Boise wings? What is it about Buffalo that gave someone the idea of using the cheapest part of the chicken to make a popular snack food? What will they think of next? Smoked cow ears? Deep-fried fish heads?
