Dear Maggie,

I am suffering from some symptoms of aging, and I know you’re all about positive thinking and stuff, but how does one stay positive when their body seems to be failing them? My eyes are going. It’s getting harder and harder to see up close. And while I’ve been running to maintain my weight, my knees have started aching all the time. Not only do I have issues about aging (I’m against it) but I need my eyesight, and I need to go running! These are probably the two most important things to me, physically, aside from weight management. So how do I get around the umistakable fact that my body is failing as it gets older? How do I think positively about that?

Signed,

Aging Gracelessly?

Dear Grace,

(I’d say Graceless, but that would be negative.)

Your body is failing you as it ages because you’ve believed all your life that it’s supposed to, that it’s inevitable, and that there’s no fighting it. Because we expect it, it happens. And the more our society focuses on the value of youth, the more we panic at the first sign of aging, and the more we attract those signs. Nothing will give you wrinkles or gray hairs faster than searching for them in the mirror every morning. Stop looking for what you don’t want to see!

I notice the areas most important to you are the ones “failing” you as you age. I don’t see you complaining of other “aging” issues, like memory or varicose veins or high blood pressure. So let’s examine this. If we were all alike, we’d all age the same way. Things would fail in the same order. They don’t. Here’s what happens.

You have a day when you’re forgetful left and right. You chalk it up to being a little stressed, laugh about it, and forget it. (No pun intended.) It doesn’t happen again.

You have a day when your knee hurts after a run. You panic, because running is so important to you. You start to wonder if this is going to become a problem. You wonder if it will get worse and prevent you from running at all. You worry that if you can’t run, you’ll gain weight. You discuss it with everyone you know, and they all confirm that yes, that’s what happens as we age. Your knees get worse and worse. You try this, you try that, and nothing helps.

It has nothing to do with age. It has to do with where your focus is. In Scenario #1, you weren’t worried, barely gave it a second thought, went about your day having fun, and the problem came and went, as these things should.

In Scenario #2, you were totally focused on that knee pain, thinking about it a lot and worrying about it even more, and so you attracted more knee pain.

Now that it’s hurting so much of the time, it’s a lot harder not to notice it. It would have been easier to shift your focus and let it go before. But you can still do it. Partly just by knowing you created the knee pain with your thoughts and that you can release it just as easily. That’s going to be the start. Second, relieve the pain as much as you can, because it’s easier not to think about it when it’s not aching. So say yes to anti-inflammatory meds – even something as simple as taking some Ibuprofen every 4 hours for a few days, or putting a bolster pillow under your knees when you sleep. Just don’t put too much thought into those things. Do them with a little smile, knowing you’re only tricking your brain into letting go of the issue. Temporary measures to get your focus elsewhere so you can get stop blocking your perfectly healthy knees from being perfect and healthy.

Finally, stop talking about it, worrying about it, etc. Expect it to get better and it will.