I am signing up with the global warming crowd.

You are right.  This makes me a turncoat. For years I have been skeptical about their claims.

But I have put all that behind me now. Many prominent scientists agree the globe is actually cooling these days, these years. But I do not care. Count me among the global warmers.

Countless thousands of scientists have pooh-poohed the global warming claims.  They reckon Al Gore is off his rocker. Meanwhile, he sweeps tens of millions into his bank accounts from investments he helps with his rants.  Sounds like crazy-smart to me.  Count me among Gore’s supporters from now on.

Yes, humans account for only 3 percent of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.  And we are so vain to think our effort to reduce carbon will somehow have an impact? Versus the 97 percent we cannot reduce?  I am willing to ignore that.  Must be publicity spewed by the filthy oil companies.

Yes, it is clear to so many scientists that the sun controls temperatures here.  Its impact is a zillion times more than what puny humankind can inflict.  That does sound more logical than the global warmers’ arguments.  But logic be damned. That stuff about the sun is probably put out by kooks.

Yes, I realize the global warming folks have dropped the term “global warming”.  Replaced it with “climate change.” Well, if you think the change of a few words alters things, you must be in cahoots with OPEC. I bet you know somebody who drives a pickup. There!

I have switched sides because the alarmists have convinced me we will bake ourselves into extinction.  They are pouring out Apocalypse-type scare stories and books and films. 

Here is how urgent the problem is:  President Obama’s science adviser wants government to rocket pollution particles into our upper atmosphere. These would reflect the sun’s rays away from earth and that would cool us down.

He also thinks artificial trees would help.  Somehow they would suck carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere.  Some big-time British scientist insists we must reduce the earth’s population by 25 percent. He has given up sleeping around.

Thoughts like these conviced me we have pitched face first into the mud of desperation.