GREENE – In the midst of the political and media maelstrom that has followed last Friday’s tragic shooting at the American Civic Association in Binghamton, David Marsland is the calm, quiet strength within the storm.
Marsland’s wife, Hong Xiu Mao Marsland, was one of the 13 killed at the center where she had been taking English classes and working toward her citizenship since August of last year.
“The timing of this is just too poignant,” said Marsland, as he recalls the woman he met for the first time on Christmas Day in 2007. Just days before her death, he said, he had heard his wife tell a friend that she was living the American Dream.
Hong Xiu was animated, humorous, playful and funny as he told anecdotes of the couple’s life together. He said they often joked about their cultural differences, and he remembers her laughing about how much she enjoyed life.
“Her favorite part of our life together was pillow talk,” he said, recalling the time they spent talking about their day, working on English and getting even closer in their relationship. “We had everything we wanted, and we were just getting started,” Marsland said.
The two had been planning a trip to China, which would have been his first trip to his wife’s homeland and her first time back since she sought asylum in the U.S. in 2004.
His wife had grown up in Nan Lin, a rural community in the Guanxi province of China, he explained, in a level of poverty few Americans can fully comprehend. She dropped out of school at an early age to help her mother on their farm, which allowed her oldest brother to continue in school and become a teacher.
“She learned to live life from the root,” he said, which gave her what he called an “earthy sense of reality.” “Part of her was very, very natural, in the best sense of the word.”
His wife had spent time working in a Chinese factory, an experience from which she bore a long scar on one leg, and sold appliances with a friend before moving to the United States. She settled in Flushing, Queens, along with many other Asian immigrants.
The pair were introduced by a mutual friend in late 2007 and had their first date in a Starbuck’s down the street from her Flushing apartment on December 25. Marsland remembers her making him wait across the street so that she could get a look at him before coming down to meet him. He also remembers taking her two small, gloved hands in his and feeling the first spark of connection between them.
Over the following months, the two communicated often by phone, pictures and by a Chinese instant messaging platform called QQ. Marsland made trips to Queens, during which they went to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, Jones Beach and the zoo in Corona Park.
“By the end of March (2008), it was pretty clear to everyone that we were falling in love,” Marsland said.
Hong Xiu visited Greene for the first time that spring. “She loved it,” he said, because she said the hilly landscape reminded her of home. “Once she got over her shyness, she loved the people.”
In early summer, he took her to the Finger Lakes region where they visited a number of waterfalls. He saved the best for last, he said, referring to Taughannock Falls near Trumansburg. They were unable to get as close to the falls as they would have liked, however, because a wedding was taking place. Marsland wasn’t disappointed, though. He saw it as a sign.
“That’s when I knew we were going to get married,” he said. The couple became engaged in June, and were married at the Pal Yul Retreat Center in McDonough on July 26.
