Dear Maggie,

I’m the most disorganized, clutter-prone person I know, and it’s really beginning to irritate my husband and kids. I tend to be drawn to various hobbies. Watercolor for awhile, knitting, sewing, etc. Scrapbooking was the latest. I never really end up doing anything with these hobbies. I end up with lots of supplies, (hundreds of balls of yarn, dozens of knitting needles, yards of fabric, and needles and thread and patterns and pins, boxes upon boxes of scrapbooking supplies, all the pretty stickers and lettering and pages and binders full of ideas. I have sixteen sets of watercolor paints, most still unopened. And brushes and easels and even some canvases. I start tons of projects, but I never finish any of them. I lose interest, and move on to something else in short order. However, it’s all stuff I enjoy, even if I never do it anymore. I don’t want to get rid of my supplies – they cost money, after all, and someday, I might want to get back to them, maybe finish some of those projects. But my family is rebelling. Every closet, every shelf, every possible storage space in the house is taken up by my supplies. Even the basement, attic and under all the beds. I even snuck a few boxes into my the garage – my husband’s sacred space. He says it’s enough – that it’s time to do some major spring cleaning, and I’m in a panic at the thought of getting rid of my supplies. I know it sounds trivial, but this is major to me. What can I do to get him to let me keep my stuff?

Thanks,

The Clutter-Queen

Dear Clutter-Queen,

You probably aren’t living in fear of getting rid of your stuff because you really think you might want to use it some day at all. Or because it cost money to buy. The real reason is probably deeper, and while I’m not an expert, my guess would be that the need to collect and horde is coming from a very insecure place in you. You’re acting out of fear of “not enoughness.” Fear of running out and never being able to get more. Fear of emptiness in your life. All of this behavior is stemming from a belief in lack. And no matter how much stuff you collect, you’re never going to feel it’s enough, as long as that belief in lack and not-enoughness is your point of focus. So think about those things, and mull them over, and talk to your trusted friends, your mom, and even a therapist if you are in a position to do that. Some lack in your history might be the root of it.