Dear Maggie,

I can’t get my kids to move out and it’s ruining my life!

All right, they are a boy and a girl, both have finished high school, and my daughter went to college for two years, but neither of them have any ambition at all. They aren’t working. Oh, they get jobs, but don’t keep them long. I keep two cars on the road—I can’t afford three—and we share, but it’s hard to divide two cars by three people and I’m often stranded without wheels, even having to carpool into my own job as a legal aid.

I’m not wealthy, but I’d be in fairly good shape financially, if they would only start supporting themselves, or at least contributing to the family finances. But they just can’t hold down jobs long enough to amount to anything, and can’t even find decent jobs that pay anything anyway.

I love my kids, and I don’t want them to hate me, but they are twenty-two and twenty-four now, and I’ve reached the end of my rope. I’m ready to make a change. So tell me how.

Signed,

Desperate and Done

Dear D&D,

Did you ever watch It’s Me or the Dog on Animal Planet? The dog expert, Victoria Stillwell is always being called into homes of desperate pet owners whose dogs are out of control, and she’s always having to tell them, “there’s nothing wrong with your dog. The problem is you.”

I hate to have to say this, but that’s the same situation you’re in.