Dear Maggie,

I spent six months knitting a special baby blanket for my pregnant daughter. It was made of a rare and expensive wool, and one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever made. And I told her specifically that it would have to be washed in cold water and dried flat. Well, the other day she phoned and asked me how hard it was to make, and did I think I would have time to make another. (The baby’s due in one month.) She said she loved it, but forgot my instructions and threw it into the washing machine. It’s completely ruined.

I’m just so deeply hurt and upset and angry I can barely speak to her. How could she be so careless with something I put so much work into? I mean, she’s always been thoughtless and irresponsible, but with something like this I just didn’t expect it. It was a work of art. And how could she ask me to make her another one? I told her no, I couldn’t, and then I just got off the phone, too angry to talk anymore. I don’t know how to deal with my anger over this. Help?

Grouchy-Grandma

Dear Grouchy,

So you spent all this time making this blanket. And every day that you worked on it, you were doing it with what on your mind? Was it the warm, loving feeling of looking forward to your new grandchild? Were you thinking of that wonderful gift? Or were you making the blanket with your daughter’s undying gratitude as your motivaton?