Dear Maggie,

My boyfriend and I have been living 1,200 kilometers apart.  He lives in one place because of his job and I live in a small town where there are no jobs available for him.  I have two children from a previous marriage that prevents me from moving because of my ex.  For four years we have been seeing each other by flying back and worth.  We have also talked every day on the phone.  He is my best friend.  Whenever something good happens or bad, he is the first person I want to talk to.  We even talked about getting married and having kids of our own. 

Recently it became evident that I will never be able to move until my kids are 18 (my youngest is 10).  My boyfriend doesn’t want to keep going on like this and he wants to have kids soon.  He says he still loves me and always will, but wants to find someone he can be with and have children with.  He still wants us to be friends and still wants me to come see him.  I just don’t think I can.  I want to be friends, but seeing him with someone else and knowing he is with someone else will just be too hard. 

I already feel like my heart has been ripped out and having to see him with someone else will be like reopening a very painful wound everytime I see him.  I just don’t know what to do.  Please help.

 Hurting and Confused

Dear Hurting,

Reading your note brought tears to my eyes, so first let me say, I’m so so sorry you’re going through this.