Even with the beautiful weather, the county’s five-day ban on outdoor fires probably killed a lot of people’s weekend plans. Mine included.

If your back-up plan is to attend a formal spring-fling cocktail party – now that you can’t spend the evening tending to that burning pile of old mattresses and roof shingles – it’s good to be prepared with discussion topics you can throw out that’ll let the upper crust think you’re well within your league.

Below are some good party tips, along with conversation starters you can print off and use on flash cards.

---

Tip #1: Obscure background information always sparks and holds people’s interest. Don’t worry if your history knowledge is a little rusty. Feel free to make stuff up (they’ll be so astounded they’ll probably never check). Not only will people never forget the conversation, they’ll never forget you.

Conversation starter: Did you know the phrase, “The Brain Drain,” which describes the epidemic of young, bright people leaving New York state, actually has its origins in Norwich? “Brain Drain” was the name of a powerful mixed drink that was served circa 2003 at the now-defunct Hands Inn nightclub. Patrons would get so drunk on “Brain Drains” that nobody cared if their debit cards got fraudulently overcharged, so long as on Fridays the “Young Grandmothers Wet T-Shirt Contest” wasn’t watered down with any age limitations. When the popular bar was closed after the owners were indicted for larceny, many 20-somethings in town had no other reason to stay, so they scattered. Hence “The Brain Drain.”

Believe it or not, “The Brain Drain” was also the name of state-of-the-art roller coaster in Indiana that malfunctioned in 1979 and killed 17 people.