Dear Maggie,

Why is it that every year around the holidays some single men have to hook up with a woman?  They don't care – just any woman! The past few years one male family member has done this so often we have referred to the occurrence as "G---'s Christmas ho, ho, ho".  This usually starts after Thanksgiving and is over with by Valentine’s Day. Now I have noticed that the single women in the family don't do this---is it because we are so busy that we don’t feel the need to fill the void in our lives?  Besides that, what would we call them?

I., from McDonough

Dear I.,

Why is it that this bothers you so much?

Why isn’t it okay for a grown man and a grown woman to engage in some shared time together if it makes them both happy, even for a little while? And why is it one woman would ever, ever refer to one of her sister-women as a “ho ho ho?”

Focus on finding what makes you happy. If seeing G’s behavior makes you unhappy, stop paying so much attention to it. Or, even better, find a way to be glad that what he’s doing makes him happy, realize that it has nothing to do with you, and just gently let it go. You might even try being nice to his women friends. It’ll make you feel happier when you free yourself of feeling any need to judge or change the behavior of others and just love unconditionally. It takes such a load off your shoulders!

Maggie

Dear Maggie:

My story may be familiar to many.  Married 16 years, housewife for almost all, I'm turning 40 in four days and I'm getting divorced.  Top the cake with my 18-year-old daughter moving in with a boy I know nothing about, my 11-year-old daughter acting out as a result of the rising tensions and all I want to do is hide in bed and never get out.

So tell me, how do I get myself moving forward instead of being in limbo.  And how do I improve my feelings of self-worth when I feel absolutely awful.

Signed,

Stuck in the Muck

My Dear, Dear Sister Friend,