There Is No Joy In Metville

By: Tom Morgan

There is no joy in Metville

What ever happened to baseball?

Took in a ball game in Binghamton, N.Y. a few weeks ago. And nearly fell asleep. This was one of the Mets’ farm teams. They are typical of farm teams. They put people to sleep.

And the guys who run the teams know this. If baseball was keeping folks on the edge of their seats, why would teams need so many promotions?

Between innings, we have the egg tossing. The water balloon promos. The one-legged races. We have the loud guy with the mike asking fans questions to win prizes. And the team mascots in humungous costumes. The chickens cavorting. The bears and tigers growling.

And we have special nights. Toyota fireworks night. Casino night. T-shirt giveaway nights. Pay What You Weigh night. Faith Night, with Christian rock groups. Red Neck Night.

Make way for Professional Wrestling night. “Clifford the Big Red Dog on Cost Cutters Kids Eat Free Family Fun Day brought to you by...” (I am not kidding!)

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Next comes Super Splash Day (With seats in a designated wet zone. Where you get hosed down, I guess.) We have a Summer Film Kickoff. And Dr. Seuss Characters Night.

Where in hell is the baseball?

It is out there, amidst the advertising. I counted 102 huge advertising signs. That is how many I saw from my seat. And, of course, we were barraged by commercials on the massive screen in center field. Oh, yes, there was sort of a scoreboard out there too. It gave us a minimum of information about the players and the game. That’s because most of the space was gobbled up by the commercials.

The outside of the stadium and grounds is plastered with more advertising. Take me out to the commercial. Take me out to the ads.

This is a lot for the ball players to compete against. I guess they realize this. Which is why they make no effort to entertain.

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