What’s the difference between my couch at home and my couch on vacation?

One has been repeatedly decimated by a huge Mike Meteor and the other one soon will be.

That’s because I’m important. I am a couch-commander.

I used to be big on the typical vacation stuff that most people enjoy. Coconut-flavored tanning oil. Sand. Sun. Heat.

Now, as commander, those things are beneath me.

In all honesty, with all my responsibilities as the top sofa sailor, I don’t even know how or why I take the time to go on vacation anymore.