Stowed Away With Diana And Elvis

By: Tom Morgan

Stowed away with Diana and Elvis

If you buy into these conspiracy theories, I apologize to you.

If you believe 19 young men did not steer two planes into the World Trade Towers on 9/11, forgive me for laughing. My mother told me not to laugh at other people’s beliefs. Sorry, Mom.

Conspiracies are a growth industry. We should have a company - Conspiracies R Us. It could sell conspiracies, distribute them. Maybe find sponsors for them.

Anyway, they are flying thick as mosquitoes in springtime these days. Conspiracies are. People are pumping out movies, tv shows, books, articles. They have claimed for years that Diana’s death was a _______. Fill in the blank The conspiracy theories range from kidnapping to gun shots. Some believe she is held captive. With Elvis, I believe.

Conspiracy guys still convince each other there were 45 unaccounted for shooters in Dallas when JFK died. Including a dozen crouched behind the grassy knoll.

Conspiracy guys still believe FDR arranged for Pearl Harbor. Knew about it beforehand. Planned it. Whatever.

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And now conspiracy guys assure us there were explosive charges planted in the World Trade Towers. These went off after the planes crashed. It is those charges that brought down the towers.

Popular Mechanics magazine’s experts have looked at all such theories and pronounced them bunk. But, hey, they could be in on the conspiracy. Bought off by the CIA.

I can just imagine the guys delivering the huge explosive charges by elevator. “Got a delivery of gelignite for youse guys. I’m supposed to plant it by those windows over there.”

The conspiracy boys also tell us a plane did not, did not plow into the Pentagon. Look - it’s a bird. No, it’s a plane! No ... it’s a missile! That’s what they tell us. A missile. A plane could not do such damage. And a couple of witnesses claim that what they saw almost looked like a missile. Right.

Simple question: So what happened to the folks on the plane that day? They were talking to relatives on cell phones. Did they just vanish? I know, I know. Kidnapped. Safely stowed away with Diana. And Elvis.

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